Paying for private school

Tips and tricks for sending your child to private school

Category: Philosophy (page 1 of 2)

Reasons people send their children to private school

Recently on a message board I occasionally read, a parent was wondering if they should send their child to private school. So she asked the parents of other private school children if her child would feel poor compared to other families and feel bad about themselves as a result.

One respondent decided to inform the original poster on the real reason they were considering private school:

If it were truly “education” that you care about, your kid would be in a high performing public school. Private school parents care more about the “experience” which is code for “rubbing shoulders with rich people to learn their values and customs and not hard working immigrant values.”

Angry person art

By SmurfyOwn work, Public Domain, Link

Wow, I am glad that respondent cleared it up for them – I bet the parent didn’t even know they were against education!

This kind of shaming response is quite common and the main reason for this web site. Those kind of knee jerk responses assumes that parents send their kids to private school to “rub shoulders with the rich people and learn their customs”.

I attended private schools for 12 years and have paid for a child to attend one nearly as long.

Not once in this time have I seen or heard anyone doing some sort of anthropological study of the ways of the wealthy. Indeed, all the kids attend all the same classes and, at many schools, are required to wear the same clothing (uniforms) to avoid status from being an issue.

Here are the reasons I have actually heard from parents sending their children to private or independent charter schools, as well as home schooling.

  • School matches the families religion
  • Alignment with the family values
  • Specialized learning environment where the private school focused on particular area such as
    • Special needs
    • College preparation
    • Military career preparation schools
    • The arts (dance, theater etc.)
    • An international based education where the child learns the language of their culture (very good for diplomats who will need to return to their country at the end of service)
    • Greek tradition (sports and academic having equal weight)
  • Smaller class size enabling better learning outcomes
  • Additional learning resources are available in some of the private schools – one I know of has Ipads, the other offers horseback riding for kids (apparently it calms the kids who have sensory issues).

I am sure I am missing some. And I would love to hear from any parent that sends their kids to private school to study the culture and norms of wealthy people to learn their ways!

And for everyone else – I do want to assure you that selecting a private school means you are focused on providing a good education for your child. And an educated child becomes and educated adult which benefits all of society. Keep up the great work and sacrifice and thank you.

 

Think multi-purpose

Ever noticed all those low profile and uninteresting hatchbacks, mini-vans and station wagons wheeling around?

Time to get excited about them because they are awesome.

We purchased our battle wagon for a net of $8000 even though it only has $70K miles and gobs of air bags.

Last month we needed a new side board (well, a side board, we never owned one).

New side boards were $1000 for low end ones unless you go with those glue and saw dust ones that have to be replaced soon anyway.

Too much! Guess those boxes stay on the floor.

We looked on Craigslist for weeks. And weeks. Even the cruddy stuff at low end stores was $500. Sigh. We were very close to dishing the money out for a new piece and cutting in other areas to make it work.

But wait, Craigslist has a 5 foot solid wood one for sale that on the Havertys awesome web site sells for $1000 new (love their stuff – so cool). And it is only $200 bucks and within a few miles of the house!

If only we had something to move it with – I am too lazy to rent something and it would take too much time. It might be gone and what if I don’t like it when I see it. In comes the incredible station wagon with seats that fold down! volvo-wagon-blueAn hour later the sideboard was now gracing our home instead of headed to the trash heap.  Money saving environmentalism.

On the way home I couldn’t help but realize the $800 saved was the equivalent of a 10% yield pay out on the wagon. That is pretty sweet contribution to the tuition.

Keep costs low and think multi-purpose.

Simplicity

Years ago a statement from Bruce Lee about punching stuck with me as a good life philosophy.

“The height of cultivation is really nothing special. It is merely simplicity; the ability to express the utmost with the minimum. It is the halfway cultivation that leads to ornamentation.” – Bruce Lee

Bruce Lee

Bruce Lee

This same philosophy applies to paying for private school. Your child’s education isn’t about social status, fancy sweatshirts, a beautiful campus or a list of college admissions lists. Those are at best artifacts of a private education but more likely are distractions. They aren’t the purpose of an education.

Keep your specific purpose for sending your child to a private school in mind. It might be very different than my purpose. And that is OK as everything else is a ornamentation.  Your success on this endeavor will help both your child and the broader community by educating its citizens with a diversity of thought.

 

You can do this.

 

“It is not a daily increase, but a daily decrease. Hack away at the inessentials.”
― Bruce Lee

A Tale of Two Dishwashers

Our dishwasher was not functioning well. Repeated repair attempts had extended the life a bit but dirty dishes after each wash was the motivation to finally replace it.

We selected a washer that made sense for us (hard food disposal!) and had decent reviews.

Picture of an awesome Maytag Dishwasher with hard food disposal.

Awesome Maytag Dishwasher with hard food disposal.

There was a fancy one for $598.  Let’s assume we would have it installed for us rather than attempt to get the thing in ourselves.

The Numbers

 

Below are actual quotes from the site we purchased The Awesome Dishwasher (rhymes with West Guy).

 

Fancy Stainless Steel Version – Installed Fancy Stainless Steel Version, DYI
Base price $494 $494
Installation $139 $0
Install Kit $29 $29
Haul Away $15 $0
Totals $677 $523

 

So $154 more for the installed version. That is 30% more for the same functionality.

The Time

This might seem like a waste of time as I am wholly unqualified to install a dishwasher. And despite daily practice my ability to even use one has come into question (hence the hard food disposal). It would take a pro 1 hour. It took me two hours on a Saturday and another two hours on a Sunday. Since we took our time I was able to clean up all the junk under it, test it multiple times for leaks and line it up just right under the cabinet. The previous, professionally installed one, was a miniature leaning tower of Pisa.

And I didn’t have to wait for a contractor and can do it in the morning. 4 hours to save a measly $154. That is only 38 bucks an hour! Based on this calculator that is $79,040.00.

This is looking better already.

But wait – this is tax free money. I don’t have to earn that $154 which would have taken $215 in gross income (before taxes, withdraws, sales taxes and mystery fees). Now we are bumped up to $53 an hour.

The Adjusted Savings

That is better. $53 an hour equates to $110,000 annual salary.

Of course your salary takes priority but if you were going to spend a lazy afternoon with a non-fiction book you can have just as much fun watching a you tube video of how to install a dishwasher.

Change Your Mind Set To Make The Grade

Paying for private school means changing your mind set on seemingly small things. You can do this.

What’s in Your Closet?

Like many of you I am an office drone and spend my days dressed in the knowledge worker uniform which include a  pairs of wool/polyester pants.

The second life of pants

Here is a money saving tip someone showed me years ago. When the dress pants get a bit frayed and need to be replaced, keep them for the weekends. Or for painting a room in the house (once you send your kid to

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private school you are going to be in-sourcing a lot of work you use to hire experts to do).

My favorite pair of pants last saw the inside of an office 5 years ago. And they have permanent black stains on them from when I refinished the driveway in them (two points added to the man card, thank you). But they are *really* comfortable.

Save time and money

What is amazing about this approach is what didn’t happen. I haven’t bought weekend pants, jeans, or pants to work in the yard over 5 years. That is a few hundred in expenses saved right there and less stuff going to the land fill. And it is better for the environment. And it is easier – I always know the pants that move to the weekend pile (I use a permanent marker to mark the inside tag so I don’t accidentally wear them to work) fit and it requires no shopping on my part.

Take a second look-but don’t over do it

The mind set of taking a second look at anything you are going to toss or recycle to see if it has a second life can turbo boost your cash flow over time and help pay for a private school tuition.

You just have to be careful to not save things that aren’t used. I only keep 3 pairs of former office attire in the weekend or yard work draw. The rest go off to be donated for a tax write off.

The pants progression

Here is appropriate life of a pair of dress pants:

  1. Dress pants for work (helps earn the income)
  2. Weekend pants (saves on buying a second pair)
  3. Donate to the thrift store (tax deduction)

 

 

Boundaries

Fancy terms are tossed around for those who reach some impressive goal. Will-power, strength, perseverance, forcefulness and might. Awesomeness!

Super Heros

These are good and make for excellent attributes of world leaders and super heroes.

Jedi Knights

What you need to save money is more along the lines of a monk (or Jedi knights); patience, flexibility, willingness to compromise, teamwork and collaboration.

Set Boundaries and Win

But above all you need boundaries. The ability to say no to others and yourself.

Boundaries are the super power of paying for private school.

Indeed, the best way to save money for a higher purpose is to not spend it on a million other valuable things. To resist the impulses bouncing around in your 3 lb. brain driving you to get this (I might need it), visit that (it would be a great experience) or eat those (I need the energy).

Become comfortable with not having the best of everythingGive your self permission to being disliked. You will find life much less stressful as a side benefit.

Get this Book

Get this book: Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No, to Take Control of Your Life – Slightly Imperfect.

Fair warning it has a slightly religious tilt (which I like).

Did you catch what just happened?

Wait A Minute

If you are new to this this whole frugality thing you probably thought “I need this now!”  and were tempted to click on the link to purchase it. Slow down. Go pick it up at the library or at least purchase a used copy.

Slow down. Let it stew. You didn’t know about it a minute ago. Meditate.

And while you are at the library or borrowing books from Amazon pick  up The Psychology of Persuasion so you know how to catch yourself next time someone presents their problem (I need to sell books)  as yours (you need to buy this book).

There you go – together we just saved $40 in under 60 seconds.

Was that so hard?

Better put an UGG on it

Consider UGG boots for the family as one of your four holiday gifts  (something to need, want, read and wear). They will be appreciated (or will be soon enough) and yield dividends.

Fight the cold

Winter floors can get really cold. Putting on socks – or even house shoes – is too much of a hassle. Cold feet lead to the heat creeping up. UGGs are slip on house boots that have wool in them. They keep your feat toasty warm. Wearing them on even a mild day can be uncomfortable because they are the perfect winter house shoe.

Be an environmentalist *and* save money

Don’t turn up the heat up to walk around the house. Put an UGG on it! We keep our house at 62 degrees Fahrenheit (16 Celsius) in the winter and everyone has a pair of UGGs.

With a onetime investment you are able to keep the heat down for years. This in turn enables us to increase our available cash for tuition payments.

Combined with a down blanket we lowered our heat from 72 degrees Fahrenheit (22 Celsius) at night to 62 degrees (16 Celsius) with no loss in comfort. Saving 3% on our bill for every degree we lower our heat means we dropped our bill by about thirty percent. And this applies for every month of the winter. Every year. On a $200 heating bill (it’s cold where we live) that is $60 bucks each month that can be sent to the school to pay for tuition. And it reduces are carbon emissions.

Keep going!

Your job is to find five of these kinds of savings. And then, once you have that done try to find more. To start off, turn down the heat and put an UGG on it.

Get Ready For Black Friday!

Black Friday is in just a few days. One can save thousands by acting fast!  One day sales only! Plan ahead! Quick! Save hundreds by spending thousands. Sure, your cash balance

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By Powhusku from Laramie, WY, USA – Black Friday, CC BY-SA 2.0, Link

will drop and credit card balance will rise but hey, look at all the new fancy stuff you didn’t even know you needed!

Resist

Slow down.

Get out of line. Empty your online cart.

That stuff will still be there next week. And the week after that. And without time pressure you can buy fewer items and spend less money overall.

Simplify

How about this instead? Consider just 4 items as gifts for the holidays.

  • Something they want
  • Something they need
  • Something to wear
  • Something to read

Give them the benefits of a frugal Christmas. This in turn may allow for higher quality items to be purchased while creating less waste.

 

The power of a cold shower

Paying for private school requires change from within.

The costs might require taking a promotion that is both good for your organization and good for your family but not in your comfort zone.

Or, it might involve forgoing a worthwhile and generally enjoyable vacation, or upgrading the coffee maker. Or, in a peaceful way, it might involve saying no to a lot of things.

Voluntary Discomfort As Mind Training

In short, it requires you to be proficient at voluntary discomfort. This requires you to be prepared to act with integrity in the moment. And training is what prepares you.

Enter the cold shower. I know, it sounds crazy but bear with me.

This technique is quick, low cost, effective and good for you and the environment.  And it makes you

caption2

By Miguel AndradeOwn work, CC BY-SA 4.0, Link

appreciate the simpler things such as,  oh I don’t know,  room temperature air and, well, not being in a cold shower. This last part, while amusing at first, is where the power of it comes in as it changes your mind set. You build patience and tolerance to discomfort. A brief cold blast of water puts a tough meeting later in the day in perspective and makes it easier.

 

Instructions:

  1. Start with your shower at the normal temperature.
  2. After a minute or two turn it down just a little.
  3. Repeat until you get to cool and slightly uncomfortable
  4. Adjust the water temperature to make it colder still and end the show with a cold blast of water for a few seconds.
  5. Mind training complete.

Your voluntarily discomfort practice will enable you to focus your mental powers on what is important. Soon enough you will scoff at ‘pampering yourself’, ‘indulging’ or ‘you deserve the very best’ advertisements and correctly see them as a form of weakness.

You need the clarity of mind to shake that stuff off and decide if paying for private school is appropriate for your family and then the mental toughness to stick to it.  A cold shower regimen can help tap the power of voluntary discomfort training for any worthwhile endeavor that requires focus over time.

This is Not New and Can Make You Healthier

And this is not a new form of training. Thomas Jefferson bathed his feet in cold water every morning for 50 years (they didn’t have showers).

As an added bonus it *actually* makes you healthier and tougher by increasing brown fat cells (little space heaters in your body).   It might even help you stay healthier longer –  read this  2015 interview with Ed Ronthalier who started the practice in 1918.

 

 

 

My investing hero

My investing hero is Anne Scheiber. She built a great portfolio on an average salary and then gave it all away to charity (for education, of course).

She didn’t follow the recommended path and she took a lot of criticism  for it in the press when the bequest became public. They only  wrote about it at the time of her death because she was able to give away $22 million  despite starting investing later in life and never having a high salary.

Ann Scheiber Photo

Ann Scheiber: Source Investing Engineer

It will come as no surprise  the pundits were critical of her life choices and her investing style. The put their values on her life – “she should have spent more on herself” – perhaps a nicer place or a personal jet! The idea of living with less to provide resources for someone else (exactly what parents paying for private school are doing) doesn’t even occur to them as perhaps worth the modest life style. Nor do they consider that a modest life style in of itself has value (simplicity, environmentalism, community).

Her investing style was and is quite unique and wrong by everything we ‘know’. Most writers overlay other models they already know to explain the results (which is incorrect) because they don’t have the time to understand what she actually did. Sort of like how financials experts write today that one *must* own your house to do well and anyone who accumulates wealth without the house managed to overcome that deficiency. This despite the many counter examples (which are brushed aside as anomalies). I will admit to studying Anne investing style since 1996 in an effort to reverse engineer it.

Anne Investing Approach

Four things of note:

1) She never paid a single mutual fund cost which helped and focused on low brokerage costs.

2) She was a focus investor and saved for years, invested for five more years and then put all of that money ($10,000  – years of salary at the time) into a single stock (Schering-Plough, later purchased by Pfizer) .

One should never do that right?

It was worth $7.5 million when she died – a 750 bagger on that investment alone.

3) She gave it all away to help remedy the inequality she experienced. This was made a big impact as the dividends when she died were over $800,000 annually.

4) Folks write about her as though she bought blue chip dividend stocks stocks which is not entirely accurate. She had a much more nuanced approach including owning MCI and Apple computer when they were relatively new companies.

She lived simply and did it her way. Your way might be different and that is ok. Don’t accept those who use existing frameworks to describe all behavior.

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