Paying for private school

Tips and tricks for sending your child to private school

Category: Who should go

Reasons people send their children to private school

Recently on a message board I occasionally read, a parent was wondering if they should send their child to private school. So she asked the parents of other private school children if her child would feel poor compared to other families and feel bad about themselves as a result.

One respondent decided to inform the original poster on the real reason they were considering private school:

If it were truly “education” that you care about, your kid would be in a high performing public school. Private school parents care more about the “experience” which is code for “rubbing shoulders with rich people to learn their values and customs and not hard working immigrant values.”

Angry person art

By SmurfyOwn work, Public Domain, Link

Wow, I am glad that respondent cleared it up for them – I bet the parent didn’t even know they were against education!

This kind of shaming response is quite common and the main reason for this web site. Those kind of knee jerk responses assumes that parents send their kids to private school to “rub shoulders with the rich people and learn their customs”.

I attended private schools for 12 years and have paid for a child to attend one nearly as long.

Not once in this time have I seen or heard anyone doing some sort of anthropological study of the ways of the wealthy. Indeed, all the kids attend all the same classes and, at many schools, are required to wear the same clothing (uniforms) to avoid status from being an issue.

Here are the reasons I have actually heard from parents sending their children to private or independent charter schools, as well as home schooling.

  • School matches the families religion
  • Alignment with the family values
  • Specialized learning environment where the private school focused on particular area such as
    • Special needs
    • College preparation
    • Military career preparation schools
    • The arts (dance, theater etc.)
    • An international based education where the child learns the language of their culture (very good for diplomats who will need to return to their country at the end of service)
    • Greek tradition (sports and academic having equal weight)
  • Smaller class size enabling better learning outcomes
  • Additional learning resources are available in some of the private schools – one I know of has Ipads, the other offers horseback riding for kids (apparently it calms the kids who have sensory issues).

I am sure I am missing some. And I would love to hear from any parent that sends their kids to private school to study the culture and norms of wealthy people to learn their ways!

And for everyone else – I do want to assure you that selecting a private school means you are focused on providing a good education for your child. And an educated child becomes and educated adult which benefits all of society. Keep up the great work and sacrifice and thank you.

 

Occasionally, when other parents find we send our child to private school, they discuss their thought process for their own children.

Wait and see

For the few that consider private school as a possible path, a recurring theme  I have heard for those that can afford it is that they will wait to see if the child has potential to justify the expenses.

Old School House Sign - Source: Wiki Commons

Old School House Sign – Source: Wiki Commons

And I get that one wouldn’t want to waste money but I struggle with their wait-and-see viewpoint.

Who should go?

Shouldn’t all children be educated to their potential, even if it is not ‘success’  by conventional  standards? Indeed, isn’t a struggling child the ideal case for a private education and most likely to see beneft?

If it makes sense for your situation, move now to develop that potential and make it inevitable.

Tell your children they are a more worthwhile investment and more important than a supersized house.

Villa Haas Mansion - Source: Wiki Commons

Villa Haas Mansion – Source: Wiki Commons

Getting in to a private elementary school

One of the advantageous of a private school is the alignment of values, approach and focus with that of the family’s interest and needs.

This is a two way street

Many prospective parents are surprised to find this go both ways. Quickly dispel the notion that you paying gobs of money means you are a customer. Incorrect. You are paying for part of the expenses for a community you are joining (and ideally, have been long part of). And this means it goes both ways.

Many private schools often don’t have enough openings. Others have certain entrance criteria (this doesn’t mean academic) and will not diverge from that criteria, even if it means leaving seats empty or shutting down. That is what makes them special – the ability to focus on their particular mission.

In short, this means your family must earn and keep a spot in a private school. That means not only selecting a school that is a fit for you but the school selecting you.

Where does your family fit in compared to other applicants?

To do this we will examine existing models constructed from the research at (where else) a private education institution – in this case Harvard University  – where Michael Porter describes the five competitive forces that should be considered in shaping strategy[1]. These forces include rivalry, threat of new entrants, threat of substitutes, bargaining power of buyers and suppliers.

In your own situation what is your value to the school community?  If you were the school would you select your family as compared to others? Why? And why not?

Remember financial aide is often managed through a blind trust so the ‘I can pay the tuition’ might not be a factor. Or it might be. Depends on the school. And for grade schools, academic excellence doesn’t exist. And for college it might be one of those necessary but not sufficient items.

In our own situation we are members of the religious community where our child goes to school so we offer continuity and shared values.

Our differentiation

Additionally, we enrolled during the last large economic downturn when interest in private education waned because of financial challenges for many families. For us the religious framework was more important than the bank account.

What about you?

What about you? Is a new school forming that needs students and aligns with your vision of a school? Or is the school almost entirely families from one part of town/culture/group and you family can introduce much needed diversity in the classroom?

Investigate and understand. We have seen a class with 85% boys in the class turn away more boys because they wanted a higher mix of girls. Your value proposition can be as simple as having a daughter who is interested in the school.

Lay aside your tendency to fighting for what you think is the right school for your child – you might be wrong

You might be thinking that school ‘over there’ would be perfect for your child. And that might be the case but more than likely the school ‘right here’ is the ideal fit and will seem all to familiar. It might even be your local public school.

The point here is to find out instead of blindly applying to what you think is the ideal or best private school. And consider your families relative position in the five forces competitive model.

And finally, do your research

Do your research. I assure you that is it much better to find out your situation is not a match before your child joins the school rather than focusing on getting in no matter what.

[1]“The Five Competitive Forces That Shape Strategy.” Harvard Business Review. August 13, 2008.

The cost of ignorance

Yesterday, a young child of a family we know over heard a discussion about the recent election and the various rhetoric about immigration and minority groups.

This child (quite young and part of one of the groups being discussed) interpreted this conversation to be that *they* are at risk of being sent away. As a result, the precious and wonderful child decided to work on a way to downplay their cultural identity – to hide it.

If only those discussing the current political climate were trained more carefully to consider the affects of their words they would have caught themselves instead of frightening this young child. How long will this child hold this viewpoint? Is this repairable?

This is not a political post.  And it is possible (and indeed likely) those discussing the election didn’t realize the affect this kind of discussion might have on nearby children.

Private schools are not under the separation of church and state framework appropriately enforced at public schools. This frees them to provide a religious education, focus on morality and,  often with a smaller class sizes, more easily reach out to children who need course correction as they learn about empathy.

An intentional morale framework is the main benefit and purpose of a private education in my opinion. The lack of that kind of training become all too apparent – and damaging – in times of turmoil.

There are many schools with different spiritual and morale frameworks.  If a private education is of interest to you, select the one that resonates with you  and your family and support them. The first step will be sending your child to that school.