Paying for private school in the DMV area

Tips and tricks for sending your child to private school for Washingtonians

Category: Philosophy (page 1 of 3)

Don’t Retire. Do This Instead.

Don’t Retire. You have spent years acquiring wisdom learning your skillset across many jobs.

Instead, continue to work, to produce but share the proceeds.

And there are lots of ways to help out.

Keep Working

One option is to share some of your income now through tithing, sending a child to private school, funding or founding a charity, or helping out in times of crisis

Another options is to carefully save and invest and reach financial independence. Once you are set continue working and donate part or all of your salary.

Or you can spend time away from work really helping out a cause, group or individual in need. Take a sabbatical to care for a loved one instead of travelling the world.

Are you concerned about running out of money or having enough for health care expenses? No problem! Keeping saving and investing as long as you can. Perhaps move to a part time schedule but keep at it. Sign the giving pledge and make a difference if you are so fortunate to have some extra cash available after you are gone.

Stay Grounded

We are all a spot on the brain or block in the vein  away from trouble and tribulation. Recognize and be thankful when you are aren’t in that situation and help out others who going through a tough spot.  Use your good fortune to keep working and share the proceeds. Be happy with that gift.

Won’t working too long be bad for me?

We are meant to be productive and to a contributor in a group. I am not saying you should avoid a special trip or something you were really looking forward to in retirement. Or even that you have to get paid for your work. But do something structured to help others out. And retirement can be lethal.

Peanut butter

 

 

Instead, be like Ronald Reed the frugal janitor who worked well past retirement age and left behind $800,000 in stocks such as J.M. Smuckers, Wells-Fargo and Procter & Gamble to worthy causes. Or maybe you can be like Loren Wade who was still working at Wal-Mart at the age of 103.

Stop trying to save up an impossible amount to fund an unsustainable life style. Instead appreciate the simple joys and by doing so enable others to do the same. That should be, and is, enough.

Knowing all of the work cycles can help you plan your finances

“You must teach the people to labor with their hands and realize the dignity of work” – Mahatma Gandhi

 

There are distinct phases of ones work experience. These are surviving, trying, striving, diving, thriving. And being aware of which one you are currently in can help you better plan  your finances to ensure you can still pay for tuition over time.

Surviving

When you first start working – or start a new job – you are working to survive. It’s a challenge to find the bathroom much less determine where to add value and understand the social norms of the new group. Mistakes are plentiful and humbling experiences occur daily, sometimes hourly.

Accept that this will happen and don’t worry too much about it.

Trying

Soon enough you will be part of a team and understand how things work. Here you can add real value. This is when you build some credibility. This is not the time for long vacations. Working extra hours and expecting to be less productive than folks who know the systems well is to be expected. Keep trying. You will get to the next phase.

Striving

Eventually, after what seems like a very long time (this can take a year or more) you will be striving. You will know enough to make significant contributions and know to do so without being told or asked. And your successes will actually outnumber your mistakes! Woot!

With striving comes more responsibility. It makes sense to give work to a busy person[1] who can get stuff done. You are now that person.

In the striving phase you are fairly secure but you must continue to work hard.

Diving

Inevitably, though,  a simple task will be given to you which has hidden career danger. It seems routine but little do you know that it is difficult, high profile and has huge impact. And you will screw it up.

Here you will be diving. How you behave – not what you contribute- will determine what happens next. Do you point fingers or accept where you made mistakes? For items out of your control do you shared lessons learned with others in the organization? Or do you talk about people behind their backs  and make excuses rather than find a way forward?

You may not be employed at this end of this phase and need a new job. And that is OK.  Either way you should act with integrity, be rationale and search for ways to contribute.  Curiously, taking time away  from the work place makes sense. Your judicious use of leave and finances stored up in the past should now give you some flexibility to get away to get perspective. And it signals to your employers that you this is a bit much. When colleagues are dishing it out they sometimes forget all the stuff you are actually doing for the team. Moreover, your emotions may be so charged at this point that extra activity will actually be detrimental. Take some time.

Thriving

If you do well in diving – and build people up around you instead of tearing them down – the next phase can be thriving. Here you have the time in organizaiton, have proven yourself to be a team player and have learned some very difficult lessons that make you much more efficient.

A presumably lighter load is now easier to get done. You work harder and find satisfaction in doing the right things the right way.

Successes build up and compound.  Distractions for activity without results will start to appear. Carefully control your fear of missing out and focus on contribution[2] instead. Pulling some of your financial reserves to repair something major you have been ignoring is good to do during this phase. And active community involvement is great here as it helps prevent burn out and boredom – and reminds you of where other folks are in this cycle.

Keep these phases in mind and don’t inflate your life style in good times

Be careful though – these phases bounce around. You could be back diving or surviving without warning – a mistake, a transfer, a new job or simply a change in the economics of your particular field can put you in a different phase over night.

It follows that it makes sense to keep emergency savings, stay in touch with former companies and coworkers and always work hard to provide value. If you are aware of these phases you won’t assume thriving (and the income bumps that sometimes goes with it) will always be the case.  This in turn should help  prevent you from home and car upgrades  to align your lifestyle with your rising – and perhaps temporary – income. Instead, stay the course and realize there will be dips and valleys. Be satisfied to build up reserves and peace of mind. Your goal is to pay tuition, not travel the world. Be satisfied with doing that and then make hay while the sun is shining.

 

[1] Imagaes, Paul Harizan/Getty. “Why It’s Smart to Ask a Busy Person for Help.” Science of Us. Accessed September 02, 2017. http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2015/03/why-its-smart-to-ask-a-busy-person-for-help.html.

[2] Mickos, Marten. “Focus on contribution.” School of Herring. November 16, 2015. Accessed September 02, 2017. http://schoolofherring.com/2015/11/16/focus-on-contribution/

The Power Of Staying Put

I’ve always felt that investing is like a bar of soap. The more you handle it, the smaller it gets.

Attributed to Darcy Howe, a VP with Merrill Lynch

Buraun, Kiisu. “Investing Is Like A Bar Of Soap.” Seeking Alpha. Seeking Alpha, August 10, 2015. https://seekingalpha.com/article/3425216-investing-is-like-a-bar-of-soap.

Staying put usually refers to staying in your current place of residence but the financial benefit principals apply to many situations.

Let’s compare the lives of the Doolittles and  Movealots families to illustrate.

The Doolittles are creatures of habits and tend to only make changes when its make a lot of sense to do so. The Movealots are all about improvements – upgrading and updating for the latest benefit.

suburb showing many houses in a orderly row

By IDuke (this edited version: Sting) – Edited version (sharpness, contrast and saturation) of File:Markham-suburbs_id.jpg, CC BY-SA 2.5, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=2944375

In 2010 the Doolittles and the Movealots both purchased a $300,000 house.  A few years later the Movealots had some equity and some raises and went ahead an upgraded to a $450,000 house. Around that same time both families bought a new car for $30,000.  Oh, and the Movealots just replaced their car with a new ride this past year with a new and improved $40,000 ride.

How did it work out?

Year Doolittles Movealots Average cost of that item at that time
1  Purchased a home $300,000 $300,000 $272,900  
2 Purchased car $30,000 $30,000  $29,217  
5 Upgrade home! Nope $450,000 $315,000
9 New car! Nope $40,000 $36,718

First Order Effects

At first glance it would appear that the Movealots spent $190,000 more in the same time period. Is that right? After all, even though they now have a higher mortgage, they don’t have to pay it back right away. True – but you still have to pay it back at some point. And that is money that could have been used to offset other future costs.  Let us assume only half of those expenses hit them during the time they are saving for or paying tuition. That is still $80,000 which is quite a bit of tuition costs in almost any school.

Second Order Effects

What we didn’t talk about yet are the second order effects – the tax, tags and dealer fees on new car, the realtor and moving fees.  This are substantial but nowhere near the hit of a third order maintenance fees.

Third Order Effects

That fancy car new car needs fancy new insurance. That upgraded and presumably larger home will need more care and feeding – from HOA fees, lawn, heating and cooling. These bump ups are bad – but not as bad as the fourth order costs.

Fourth Order Effects – The Big One

All items have a useful life, parts wear out and need to be replaced. And these occasional fourth order costs are the gotchas and they occur because when we replace an item it is almost always with a better more complex (and often bigger) item. Here is a real life example from our own lives. Our postage stamp sized house had to have the roof replaced. This set us back a mean $3000.  Our friendly neighbors who moved up on up had the same task in the new and larger home. Although the current cost estimate for our friends is well over $20,000.

That single fourth order effect – a random plus up costs of $17,000 is huge. Just a few of those will pay for tuition. Got a double oven? Double trouble! Dual zone heat? – Twice the replacement costs!

So if you are going to be a Movealot family – fine – but avoid  being an Upgradealot family so you don’t get hit with huge fourth order costs. Do you make more money then you did ten years ago? Great – keep it. Use it to go on vacation instead. Just kidding – vacations are for wimps.

Consider These Four Factors Before Making a Big Move

So before making a big move consider these four factors

  1. The up front cost difference
  2. The transaction fees and taxes
  3. The regular maintenance costs
  4. The rare but large one time expense differences

By doing so you will have at least compared the costs to see if the move is about the same much more or even saves you money for private school costs.

Quit Like A Millionare!

I am a big fan of Kristy Shen and Bryce Leung over at Millennial Revolution. They have innovative ideas and execute their plan amazingly well. They are way more advanced than me and I learn a lot from their site and recommend you check it out. And they recently released a book called Quit Like A Millionare! I recommend you read the book. Borrow it from the library or obtain a copy via my free give away instead of buying it. In the book Kristy candidly describes her background and correct (in my opinion) perspective on money as a result. In particular I recommend you read “Don’t follow your passion yet” (chapter 4) and “Your house is not an investment”(chapter 9). In the Washington DC area understanding this information can boost the quality of your life in so many ways. Change your perspective of what is awesome and easily pay for tuition and live well my friends despite DC ranking 5th in Kiplinger’s 2019 most expense cities to live in ranking.

Book cover for Quit Like A Millionare

I want you adapt the techniques in the book and use your new financial super powers for good. Sponsor a child through SOS international, donate to the human society, Go help a family in need, share what you have learned (like Kristy and Bryce have through their site, interviews and book) or educate a child.

To help you on your way the first three people to comment on this article asking for a book (be sure to include your email so I can determine where to send it) will be sent a free copy.

Don’t quit!

Scrimping and Saving

I realize most folks are frugal so they can escape the rat race and the idea of living frugally and then spending it all on tuition fees seems somewhat counter intuitive to many people.

Our thinking is that we are paying for a school that aligns with our values and educates our child. We are supporting our family through a great education and the school through our tuition. It means lots of stuff doesn’t happen, and we  keep lots of records.

If you are following a similar path,  after years of scrimping for school your spending will be on autopilot. And one day you will reach that point where there is no more tuition and you can redirect those funds to retirement savings. And one day you might have the option to quitting your job! Don’t!

An alternative

Instead  select a job you enjoy and a cause that resonates  with you and funnel your future earnings there. Or take on a volunteer with a charity. Help a family member. Write poetry. Or start a blog. The point is, set aside some side to be productive and direct that output to the benefit of other people.

After all, your education (from elementary school to today) probably cost more than your car.  And your house. Don’t let it go to waste simply because you are done with it. After being so efficient for so many years it seems sort of wasteful to let your productive capacity diminish through lack of use.

The idea of voluntary simplicity in spending to eventually  to spend most of the time on the beach might appeal for you. And do it. For a year. And then use your good fortune, your skills, and your hard acquired skills and education for the greater good.

Consider giving it away. Imagine the good you can do if you are so fortunate. I bet there is a school you are really familiar with that could use some donations from income you don’t need  or hands on volunteer help.

 

We need you

But don’t quit. We need you. And you need us.

 

Benjamin Franklin

“The used key is always bright.”

Benjamin Franklin

The true cost of watching a movie

What is the actual price of a movie? Consider these four costs before  you decide to hit  “play”.

 

Watching a movie has four major components. These are the fixed  cost,  the one time cost, the opportunity cost and the second order effect costs.  Let’s briefly visit each.  You of course cut cable a long time ago – or you are about to do that so lets use the streaming services as our example. 

Fixed Cost

Netflix offers a standard plan for $10.99 a month ,

Lets say you watch one show and three movies in an average month. That is $2.75 per show.

One Time Cost

By MrexcelOwn work, CC BY-SA 4.0, Link

And Amazon Prime offers lots of movies for a low a $2.99 each and sometimes over $10 but you are frugal so the one time cost in this example is about the same as Netflix.

Either way each movie you watch is around $3 bucks. And before you binge a show to get that cost per movie down lets consider the opportunity costs.

Opportunity Cost

More pressing than the movie cost is the opportunity cost of watching the big screen for two hours. For example, yesterday, we changed the headlamp bulbs in our car. This cost $30 in parts but according to online quotes  the service price is between between $100 and $214. I am not clear if that is per bulb or for both but lets assume it’s $150 to replace both bulbs, parts and labor. We saved $130 bucks on that expense in 20 minutes, got to chat while doing so and didn’t have to take off work to take the car to the shop.

Too tired for such efforts? No problem ! Spend 20 minutes praying or meditation. This is a bit lower energy and has numerous benefits.

In both examples you still have lots of left over time to wander around the house (more health benefits).

The Second Order Costs

 

The second order effects are the most expensive. Many movies are action packed thrillers which can use a lot of your emotional energy up. These dynamic natural scenes impact your brain chemistry

and in extremes might reduce both the quality and length of your life.  It’s fun stuff but for the most intense movies you might need a mental break afterwards and changing the bulbs after a movie might be too much – anyway you have so little time after using two hours of to someone else’s script. This time compression is the worst offender and might end up with a dinner out ($40) since there is no time or energy to cook. Plus the world just blew up on the big screen so what’s the big deal with ordering delivery?

 

The True Cost

Lets compare the numbers!

 

The movie abstainers saved $130 bucks and the movie watchers spent $3 on the movie and $40 on take out. That puts the active family ahead by $173 dollars *and* they have a free hour to themselves. Time and money in abundance.

 

The Take Away

I am not against movies –  and they can be made into wonderful family events or a mental break if you are feeling ill. With that said if you work hard during the week to pay for tuition it seems a shame to not know  the full price you are going to pay before you hit play as something to do.

 

“Time is your most important resource. You can do so much in ten minutes. Ten minutes; once gone is gone for good.”

– Ingvar Kamprad (IKEA Founder)

By paying for private school you are funding educational experimentation.

One thing that has consistently surprised me about paying for private school is the unsolicited advice and harsh criticism we regularly receive.

We have heard simple advice such as you are wasting your money to all the way to it is unethical to send our child to private school.

In few other areas of our life have our decisions been reviewed, rated and then commented on so consistently.

There are lots of other easy targets – our home, my really old shoes, food, entertainment and religion are ripe for the picking. They might get a raised eye brow but rarely do we receive a detailed unsolicited analysis of our decisions like we do with our choice of education.

Online it is even worse. Here is a just one of many examples; If you send your kid to private school, you are a bad person.

I consider myself a pretty open person. For each criticism and suggestion I have careful considered the premise. Am I wasting our limited resources? Am I making education worse for other children? Is a school based on religious values wrong – that is- I am alienating religious minorities?

I have spent years considering, and reconsidering, this feedback. And would certainly be nice to have the extra cash or go on fancy vacations or purchase a new car from the modern era.

As a mental exercise I followed Charlie Munger’s advice and I inverted the problem. Come along with me.

Let us imagine there were no private schools at all. That small church school around the corner – gone. Harvard. Gone. Hogwarts. Gone. Evangelical schools. Gone. Homeschooling – illegal.

Have a child with extreme dyslexia who needs a different learning environment? Sorry those schools are gone as well.

Graz Reading Room by Dr. Marcus Gossler - Wiki Commons

Graz Reading Room by Dr. Marcus Gossler –
Wiki Commons

What is left is a pure government monopoly. No competition. No incentive to innovate. No incubators to experiment and fail and try again. Just one system. Legislation over teacher expertise. Scale over specialization. The motor vehicle registration of education.

Well that doesn’t seem desirable.

Let’s invert again – this time there are no public schools. Anywhere. It is all private schools. Can’t afford to pay tuition? Sorry your kid goes to the low cost school mill or comes to work with you for apprentice training. Are you an elementary aged child whose parents who can’t afford to feed, much less educate you? Sorry – you will never learn to read beyond a second grade level.

Old School House Sign - Source: Wiki Commons

Old School House Sign – Source: Wiki Commons

Well, that doesn’t seem desirable either.

 

Perhaps the middle road seems to make sense. A healthy mix of public, private and home schools creates a mutually beneficial ecosystem. The private schools can experiment, innovate, evolve and best practices can be adopted across all systems over time. The public schools can offer a world class low costs education for everyone no matter their financial circumstances. And they provide standardized testing to measure all schools academic performance.

Home schooling fills in the gaps. We know of one very religious family who has four kids and couldn’t afford private school so they home schooled simply so they could integrate their religion into the school day.

Sending your money and your kid or grandkid to a private school? Good for you. Your child is receiving an education that matches your values and you are funding an educational incubator. Perhaps your school, with its freedom to try different things out, will come up with an innovation that will be adopted by schools across the country. More likely the children from your school will bring their education to diversify the mental frameworks of the organizations and community.

You are right to send your child to private school if you are lucky enough to have the opportunity to do so and are willing to make the sacrifices.

Monopolies have consistently been shown to cause complacency over time. Here in the US the Sherman Act was passed in 1890 as a “comprehensive charter of economic liberty aimed at preserving free and unfettered competition as the rule of trade.” [1]

By paying for private school you are funding educational experimentation. And unfettered competition. Be ok with the criticism. Listen to the unsolicited advice and harsh criticism and carefully consider it. At the end of the day you have to do what is right for your family and your community – even if it is unpopular.

[1] https://www.ftc.gov/tips-advice/competition-guidance/guide-antitrust-laws/antitrust-laws

 

“You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.”

Winston Churchill

 

 

 

Skip the Tip! Take it to go and eat at home.

This took me many years to discover but it has served us well. Despite being on the frugal track we occasionally eat out (ok, more than occasionally). Sometime as a family sit down dinner or for a special occasion but most often because we go out because it would be fun to go out.

To save 15% at a restaurant, skip the tip by taking the food to go. That will save 15% (or 20%) on the bill because there is no tip. And, after a while, you realize you have drinks at home. And bread. And that is another few dollars saved.

Electrical candlelight!

Instead, set your home up to be a delightful place to eat with a fancy and clutter free table that include  forks that haven’t been in a million people’s mouths (a no cost bonus!). At the Café De Your Place there is never ever a wait. The table is always open, there are just enough seats and it’s the best table in the joint.

Plein Air!

In the summer we eat out on the ‘rustic’ wood table that came with the house. This year we added a coral maple to enhance the view at our fine dining establishment. How many restaurants do you visit have this kind of greenery? Get creative (but low cost) and set up your own ambiance.

G Ruga Coral Maple Tree Photo

Paying for Private School’s  Frizzy Coral Maple Tree of Awesomeness.

If you are like most families where eating out just overtook the grocery sales then you probably spend around $2625 on dining out.

Ha. I know the truth.  If you have the income to consider a private school tuition and live in metropolitan area that number is much higher. It is more like $6000 a year. Lets go with $6000. That is $900 a year in tips if frequent wait in line and then sit down establishments. Toss in another $100 on desserts and drinks over the course of a year and we will make it an even $1000.

Show em’ the sink!

I know some of you are secretly cringing because you spent way more than three or even six thousand on dining out last year. This is a judgement free zone. We are here to help. You just have more opportunity to save! Start with an immediate 15% discount on many (and soon to be rapidly declining) restaurant meals. And enjoy the further benefit from having your children rarely hearing  the phrase “I will be your server for this evening”. They need the gift of responsibility and can get up and get their own water when they need a refill.

This one slight change in behavior nets you $1000 a year and comes with a free side of humility for the entire family. A $1000 here and  there starts to look like a tuition payment and there are lots of easy ways to save big money.

Paying for Private School French Country Kitchen

Paying for Private School French Simulated Country Kitchen- comes with reading materials. How many restaurants do that? Don’t worry, we bought those chairs used.

Don’t complain. Build.

In November of 2016 Mr. Money Mustache (required reading) retweeted a post by Elon Musk that said “Don’t complain. Build”.

Create, design, join or invent a way to make your situation better. Is your local school system mediocre and you can’t afford private school? Get involved and improve it.

Us amateurs work really hard to create something pretty mediocre only to have to do it again. And again. I had to install the disposal in our kitchen three times before I got it right. This is 30 minutes of work for an average plumber. It took me two weekends. I don’t care.  Honey badger doesn’t care either. It works, it has been there 5 years and I saved $300 in labor. Plus, I prevented a plumber from having to do something basic. And I *really* know a lot about disposals now. When it had a problem last month I was able to fix it really quickly

caption2

By JanekpfeiferOwn work, CC BY-SA 3.0, Link

without a reference manual. I even remembered where the stupid screw that came loose was located. How could I not after spending 20 hours under the sink looking at something with only 3 parts?

Critical thought is an important skill. Identifying what is wrong and how things could be better is important as well. But this must be followed up by action. Repeated attempts, slow progress actions is the grit of making stuff go. Posting a complaint hidden as a comment revealing how insightful you are doesn’t actually do anything.

Don’t complain.

Build.

Increase your food expenses!

Food is  a big portion of household spending. You probably think you want me to cut expenses drastically here as well. Nope.

You have enough income to consider private school so most likely you have a two income household where everyone works in competitive and draining jobs. And now I am asking you to think about cutting costs and to take regularly repeated actions. This takes a lot of energy and a clear mind.

Going for the pancakes instead of an egg white omelet with mushrooms and peppers because the pancakes are a fraction of the cost makes sense right?

Not always. Paying for private school means developing your children to their full potential. And that applies to you as well. Some things make sense to pay more for and actually ending up costing less in the long run.

Pancakes, for example, can cause a temporary spike, and insulin rush, a crash and then a fuzzy fog hours later. We need you to have steady and calm energy all day and then in the evenings, after a long commute, feeling like you could be productive. That way you will have enough energy to do some money saving record keeping after a full day at work. Slow and steady wins this race. Eat whole foods.

You will find your food costs might go up a little but your energy levels become a steady fire once you drop the spikes associated with sugar and ultra refined flours. Soon enough, after a ten hour work day followed up by dinner and dishes, more work will be quite simple and enjoyable. This is an investment in yourself, just like private school is an investment,  and will soon pay for itself many times over as your steady energy enables you to do more.

Don’t worry. You come from a long line of people who worked from dawn until dusk six days a week.  All you need to do is eat like them. Don’t eat anything your great

grandmother didn’t eat. If the dish appears to be traditional eat that – most likely it is mostly vegetables with a protein mixed in and sometimes a whole grain. Do this for a week for each meal and prepared to be amazed.

And when you are outside your dwelling some evening because there is something you need to do to save money and because you eat well you will have the energy to do so. You will invariable notice the soft glow in the windows nearby just sitting around being passively entertained. At first this will be alarming. Eventually you will realize you are playing a game where only a few are even showing up to participate.

 

 

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